It's been about two years, 3 months since my ex walked out on me.
When she did, I made a promise to God to wait and see what He is going to do, and I've faithfully done that.
Since then, He has promised me a new wife... one that loves Jesus and has a passion for the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, no matter what culture or even her own family says.
He has asked me to self-evaluate, and I have also done that, finding many progressive and sinful habits of fear and "two-masters" in my life that I've thrown before the Thrown of Grace. I'm even completely celebate — and that one doesn't ease up.
Thanks to COVID-19, I've been made very aware of how alone I am, and after much prayer, God has has challenged me to re-evaluate what "waiting" means, because I've actually just been complacent.
Everything in my life that is good has been given to me from God through other people... and to meet those people I had to put my foot out my front door and get involved. The only thing that I ever settled on... was my ex. I know that sounds horrible, but I convinced myself that, thanks to my ADHD and conservative views, she would be the only one that could ever put up with me, especially thanks to this liberal area. Ironically, these are the reasons she gave to her counselor for leaving me.
As I ponder what it means to "put myself out there," I'm reminded of so many stories of couples I've known over the years. There are women all over the country who love Jesus and who could love me. I love traveling and seeing new places, and I prioritize God and my walk with Him first, so packing up and moving has always been a dream of mine... accept now that I'm divorced, I'm stuck here for a few years until the girls are old enough to do longer stints with my ex and I.
Heck, there may even be a beautiful young lady out there who might even come here... because she will love me.
But, in order for this to even be a possibility, I've got to break out of my shell and continue connecting with people. Why? First, I love helping and encouraging people. That has to be my goal, God does the rest. I've had the opportunity to meet so many new people the last two years... but the end of the divorce it had sucked everything out of me and I collapsed. Helping others walk like Him and encouraging them to know Him more has always been my goal, and I need to be okay with being weird and get back connecting with people.
In a world of ghosting, I'm sure I'll be dismissed a lot, but that's a trial that will mature me into being more like Christ. I ran a business for 10 years, so I'm pretty familiar with being shut down and ignored.
But, I know she's out there. I just have to wait until God brings her, and I need to do so seeking to serve and encourage others through as many means as I can that give glory to God. This is my prayer, and this is my focus, so that I might invest in more good works before the Throne of Grace.
And I can't wait to meet you, babe.
— Micah